Screw City Beer Festival 2011

This is the second of three festivals that I will have attended in under a month.  Needless to say, my wife is a very patient person.  There was a lot going on with this festival and I’ll just start right from the beginning.

A higher quality ticket.  Nice touch.

The Grounds

The grounds were basically a city block in downtown Rockford, IL.  While this does allow for plenty of parking of varying distances, it unfortunately places us in the midst of the asphalt jungle.  We were surrounded by tall older buildings with some pretty neat architectural features which eventually provided great shade as the festival continued into the afternoon.

Since this was held on a city block, the seating was extremely limited.  There were a few bunches of metal patio furniture set up, but I’m not sure of those were courtesy of the festival or if they were the regular offering of the restaurants they were placed in front of.  A handful of circular city benches were also available, but fell far short of accommodating all those needing seating.

As you can see from the photos, tents ran down the center of the street with areas for traffic on the sidewalk and gutter areas.  This didn’t leave a lot of room for moving around.  Or seating.  Or porta potties.  Or shade through the midday hours.  I feel bad mentioning this early and putting a bad spin on the festival, since as a whole I really enjoyed myself, however this was one of my main gripes with the fest.

The Facilities

Bathrooms were 5 porta potties, with one hand sanitizing station located at only one end of the fenced in festival area.  Not really impressive, but the lines were never too long and everybody got along fine.  

This was it.  Less that 15' from the Goose Island booth.

I found ONLY ONE glass/mouth rinsing station which was a kegerator (the type of which one could find online with a crudely taped sign stuck to the front of it.  I found it one hour into the festival and it was already empty.  Boo.

Who thought this was a good idea?  Not up to par.

The tents were large enough to accommodate the featured brewers, and maybe the fest-goers who were immediately being served – that was about it.  Anybody looking for shade was forced to wait until the surrounding tall buildings naturally provided it as the sun set.

The Food

To their credit the food tent was not a tent at all, in fact, it was a half city block adjacent to one end of the festival.  That means plenty of room to browse the different offerings and plenty of room to stand around eating it because there was no seating other than the curb that wasn't taken up by food tents.  Lots of local food vendors were selling their wares from small individual tents/booths.  The selection was good: ribs, a chocolatier (!), brick oven pizza, sausages, cheese curds and a few other local restaurants including the Olympic Tavern.  The only food I had during the fest was from said pizza tent (Woodfire Brick Oven Pizza) and it was fantastic.  They were actually using their hands to mold the dough to the pan, "painting" it with what appeared to be butter on the outer edge, and adding fresh ingredients.  It was extremely tasty.  They also were offering free water and root beer for designated drivers.

Water/root beer table on the right.  Food "pavillion" behind it.

These guys came to play.

The Beer

No complaints here!  For a fest of this size they certainly came to represent and so did their brewers.  Before I even get into the beer, some of the vendors had some pretty cool "accessories" for their booths (notably Left Hand).  Check it out!

A bar light, beers to pour, and tons of merch!  T-shirts, hats,
free temp tattoos, and probably glassware.  I don't recall.

They even brought the cavalry.

Appropriately placed on my left hand.

To the Rogue-mobile!!

In no particular order, here are the vast majority of the beers I sampled and their 2 second review.

1.  Southern Tier - Cuvee Series One:  I had to taste this one twice even if it was extra tickets.  There was so much going on in this big, big, mouth-filling, well-bodied beer that you can't taste it all in one go.  My notes read, "smells AMAZBALLS!  Flavors of oak, cherry.  Perfect warmth, vanilla, brown sugar, syrupy, and carmelized. Wow!"

2.  Stone - 15th Anniversary:  An Imperial BIPA that does the Stone name proud.  I had this at the MWBF and it again did not disapoint.  It smells of earth and pinecones or as I exclaimed in an overly-exicted state perhaps brought on by trace amounts of alcohol, "It smells like the forest floor!"  The taste is earth, pine, toffee, and coffee.  What a brew!

3.  Smuttynose - Older Brown Dog:  Wow did this pour thick and with the color of a burnt honey or a light caramel hue.  An aroma of warmth, vanilla, and oak.  Body and overall tone of a quad or tripel, but without the Belgian leanings.  This beer was earth, molasses, dark fruits, and moderate alcohol.  A BIG beer.

4.  Capital - Autumnal Fire: A very round flavor.  Bigger than a traditional Oktoberfest.  Amazing color, just as the name implies.  I was only disappointed that I don't believe I got the full experience of this beer.  It had Belgian notes in it, but I assume ONLY because I had just had a Goose Island and there were, as aforementioned, a distinct lack of rinsing stations.  I'll have to look around for this on again.

5.  Carlyle Brewing Co. - Vanilla Creme Ale:  This is a local brewer from Rockford and I was excited to try any and/or all of their beers because of the amount of local buzz it generates.  It also has a pretty good look (aka marketing) to it.  Check it out below.  This beer's aroma was ridiculous!  It smelled of cake batter and vanilla.  Wow!  No strong alcohol like Southern Tier's Creme Brulee, just sugary sweet goodness.  The flavor had a hard time living up to such an amazing introduction, though still pretty tasty.  The flavor was much more cream-based and was complimented by a lighter body and low carbonation.

6.  Carlyle Brewing Co. - The New IPA:  A great wet, soapy head on this and a great ocher color.  Lots of resin flavor and bitter.  Light body, low carbonation, crisp, drying, refreshing, and awesome lacing.  Carlyle also earns extra brownie points for being the ONLY brewer at the entire. friggin' festival. to have a tap of just water to rinse out your tasting glass.  Kudos folks.  Thanks for thinking of us.

7.  Carlyle Brewing Co. - Black Walnut Stout:  Doesn't that sound delcious?  It did to me too!  Unfortunately I was let down.  With no real aroma, a light body, light flavor, clean finish, and light bitter this beer could have weighed in as an OK brown, but not a stout.  It was their only beer I was disappointed in.  However, knowing the festival environment can often be less than ideal for a true tasting, I'm more than willing to give this beer a second chance.  The name just sounds too good not too.

8.  Crispin Cider - Fox Barrel Blackberry Pear:  It is everything that its name implies.  An uber-light body and high carbonation make it less of a substantial cider offering.  Its flavor was tasty, straightforward, and sweet but could be quite enjoyable if in the mood for such a thing (and not seeking out whatever imperials the fest had to offer).  I had some sips of their other offerings (Honey Crisp!) procured by my wife that were much better and excellent ciders in general.

My wife disapproves of my observation of how many women
are in line for the cider booth.

9.  Founders - Centennial IPA:  Very citrusy aroma and a great bitter.

10.  Founders - Breakfast Stout: Thick, heavy, with a dark brown head.  Flavors of raw sugar, coffee, and light chocolate.  Wow!  A excellent, sharp, bitter finish.

11.  Galena Brewing Co. - West Coast IPA:  Starts out like a red by being very malty and creamy.  In fact, it has a very complex malt, a light hop finish, and a balanced clean aftertaste.  Not what I would call a West Coast IPA (at all), but that doesn't make it a bad beer.  Just grossly mislabeled.

The folks from Galena educating the masses.

12.  Galena Brewing Co. - Old Uly Oatmeal Stout:  Named after Ulysses S. Grant and his history with the area of Galena, IL, this is a beer of which the general would be proud.  Very earthy, with light chocolate and coffee notes.  This is very tasty and I lament missing this brewery at MWBF all the more.

13.  Gray's Brewing Co. - Oatmeal Stout:  This is a microbrewery out of Janesville, WI.  It's probably no further than 25 minutes from where I was born, so I had to give this hometown brewer a try.  Aroma was light, but smelled like a nutty oatmeal stout.  Nice, even if I do like my stouts a bit more robust.  The flavor was very creamy and not very bitter.  Good body.  Lots of oatmeal in this one, but not so much stout.  I wish I had the opportunity to try more of their beers.

14.  Goose Island - Pere Jacques:  Dupel.  More dark fruit than I remembered or expected, but it is pierced with a bright, but not sour, citrus and caramel.  A very nice blend.

Goose Island was one of VERY few pouring from taps.

15.  Left Hand - Black Jack Porter:  To be honest, this was the first beer I had and it went down waaaaay to quickly.  I remember it being good.  I remember coffee.  That is all.

16.  Metropolitan Brewing Co. - : Krankshaft Kolsch:  Big aroma, a bit drier, but it smells of apples and is crisp and bright.  Not cidery at all.  The flavor is of mellow malt, not sweet, fairly grainy with an ever light citrus.  Well carbonated and with a clean, dry finish.

On a side note, this is a brewery from Chicago and I absolutely love their look.  It is a very industrial theme, allows from some great labels, and well... oh look for yourself!  They have their taps flowing through a robot for Pete' sake!

17. Potosi – Black IPA: Aroma is piney and light citrus. Flavor is char, resin, and a light, nice bitter finish that is slightly drying.

18. Samuel Adams – Imperial Stout: Lots of chocolate, vanilla/caramel, and a little alcohol with an authentic coffee finish and THEN a pronounced bitter. This was very good and one of the reasons that all the people who pooh-pooh Samuel Adams for being too big are ridiculous. It’s not about the size of the brewer, people. It’s all about the beer.

I'd easily recommend this to a friend.  Craft beer drinker or not.

19. Samuel Adams – Cream Stout: Not creamy like an oatmeal stout, it is more cream-as-in-a-cream-ale type cream. This makes it sweeter than expected and with an odd bite for a stout. This is one of the beers that I wish I had a better environment to give it a true, in-depth tasting. 

20. Smuttynose - Pumpkin: Spiced, delicate pumpkin. In that order. Far from overdone with a nice bitter. 

21. Southern Tier – Pumking: Smells MUCH sweeter and creamier than other pumpkin seasonals. It is also less spicy, but offers more pumpkin flavors. Not pumpkin sweetness, just actual pumpkin flavor.

22. Lost Abbey – Inferno: This is their Golden Ale and it is a duzey! It has lighter Belgian tones than expected in a golden strong ale, but THEN comes a flavor like a banana crème. It is accompanied by a great carbonation, a little sour, and a little warmth. There is an unusual, awesome, balancing bitter. Almost hints of champagne! Very neat and I need to find this one again.

22. Finch’s – Cut Throat IPA: Aroma of crisp citrus. Flavor? Fresh. Wow! Lots of pine and “lymon.” For those of you unfamiliar with lymon, I strongly suggest that you go watch some old Sprite commercials (not that this beer tastes like Sprite at all).  Go find this and drink it.

And they distribute in cans!  Awesome.

23. Founders – Kentucky Breakfast Stout: I saved this one for last for a reason. This is the first time that I have had KBS. The worst part is I don’t even live that far from Michigan (relatively)! It was served in bottles and after all its hub-bub, rarity, clamor, and high rankings on various lists I was very ready to get my hands on some.

The line for KBS.

It stretched alongside the fence for a ways as well.

I finally found it.

Luckily, I was in front of the line as I got there 20 minutes before the pour time, and my wait time was not in vain. This beer is ridiculous delicious! A strong aroma of coffee and cocoa are only a hint of what is to come. The flavor is incredibly complex. It is also a very big beer without being overwhelming. It was sip after sip of cocoa, molasses, raw sugar, warmth, and toffee. My note reads, “AMAZballs blend.” Each flavor flowing into and complimenting the next. The finish is coffee, boozy, walnuts, and an espresso bitter. As it lingers in the mouth it becomes more nutty, but still shows its coffee roots and a moderate bitter. I can finally check this off of my list of “beers I must try” and I couldn’t be happier about that.

I was a little excited.

Ready to snatch it.

Miscellaneous

These observations don't really fit into any other category, but I felt they were worth mentioning.  Some the fest had control over, some it didn't.

1.  "The Line"  This was one of the things the fest should've had control over, but didn't.  When entering the fest at almost the exact start time, the line was already stretched back 2 city blocks.  Check it out.

See the awnings in this photo?  They're important later.

Now do you see the awnings?  Yeah, it went on even further.

Not only was the line huge, but there were TWO of them, with the one on the left being much shorter.  Why weren't more people in that line?  No one really knew.  It's because there weren't any signs.  No line knew exactly what they were waiting for unless, like me, you walked to the front to ask what the heck was going on.  Some people waiting in one line, only to be told that upon reaching the front that they needed to be in the other line.  They waited in line twice.  Long lines.  People were not happy.  This lack of signage was also notable when trying to find fest designated parking or the fest itself in downtown Rockford.  Sure, most people have lived there their whole lives, but I haven't been back to the downtown Rockford area in quite some time and some signage would have been appreciated.

This was the "shorter" line.

2.  The people.  This is one of the things that the fest had no say over.  While in Rockford I did happen to catch some old friends from high school and my wife found a friend from college.  How cool!?  It's just little surprises like that that help make things a little more... fun.  I struck up conversations with lots of folks there and was very pleased with all of the interactions.  There's a reason they say that "Craft beer people are good people."  I even got to meet Matt from BeerDownload.com, though like a mythical Sasquatch, I was not able to snap a photo quickly enough.

Impromptu Hononegah High School Reunion

Impromptu Chi Alpha Pi reunion

3.  The Homebrewing Tent.  This thing had quite the extensive spread of beer ingredients for people to smell, sample, and learn about.  They also had plenty of books and education pamphlets - they're not just for the school nurse anymore.

4.  The middle of a great day.  This is definitely not something that the festival could not have controlled.  In full disclosure, this festival fell right in the middle of a perfect day.  In the morning I went early season goose hunting with my dad and an old friend, I then went to a beer festival with my wife (not every guy has a wife that wants to go), and then I visited with my parents, had an amazing dinner, and then fell asleep in front of a bonfire with a New Glarus beer on an brisk fall night with a bright, full moon.  Perfect.

Suggestions

1. Commandeer the waterfront park. Perhaps I don’t understand the logistics of holding a festival (a distinct possibility as I have never thrown one), or maybe it just was reserved already, but Rockford has a waterfront park where they regularly hold festivals including their “On the Waterfront” summer music fest and it would have been, from what I remember, a much more preferable location. I’m not sure how it would be easier to get a city to cordon off several city blocks, but not have a festival in a park. Parking for either would be ample, but holding the fest in the waterfront park would have remedied many of the issues that, while not the utter downfall of the fest, made it less pleasant: space, seating (even grass), shade from occasional trees.

2. The Lines.  Fix 'em.  More people manning the gates during the opening time and....

3. The signage.  How about some parking signs?  Signs to designate which line I need to stand in?  Those would be helpful

4. Better facilities. This should read, "more porta-potties, a hand-washing station, more trash cans, and more than one depleted, hastily labeled rinsing station," but that wouldn't be a nice concise bullet point, now would it?

All in all, this was a pretty awesome fest and the gripes that I have don't take away from the fact that there were more beers there than I could try, the brewers that came brought their game faces, the food was tasty and unique, the weather was pretty perfect, and the price was low for general admission tickets ($25).  I'd definitely go back next year (it HAS already been scheduled) and with their open solicitation of patron feedback, I'm sure next year will be even better!  Cheers SCBF folks! 

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Left Hand - TNT

I have been waiting to try this one for a while!  While bocks are literally THE beer that started me drinking craft beer (nod to Granite City's "Brother Benedict's Bock"), weizens were not too far behind.  So to combine the two should result in a beer that will be near and dear to my heart for the foreseeable future.  Plus, to add an interesting new twist to a brew is something that I always appreciate.  This beer has a lot going for it (AND it is made by Left Hand) before I even open the bottle and I am very excited.  Let's pour!

Picture is my own.  Bottle art image used without permission for educational uses only.

Aroma 7/12

You can smell this as soon as you pry off the cap.  Once in the glass there is dark roasted malt which borders on a coffee-ish aroma, and the smell of chaw (though it is really the Lapsang Suochong tea).  This tea is apparently smoked and the smoke definitely lends a strong hand to the scent.  There are some other scents at play here (blacked bananas, bits of caramel, etc), but they are so hard to elaborate on because this beer smells so much like Campbell's Bean & Bacon soup.  The smokiness, the tea, and some sort of flavoring all come together to make an uncanny (no pun intended) resemblance to the universally known soup.  While it does make one a bit nostalgic for childhood meals, it is not a very exciting prospect in a weizen doppelbock.

Appearance 1/3

Pours like a melted root beer float into the glass.  The color is also cola-esque, but has milky looking edges when held to light.  Head is traditionally textured (not the thick, whipped creaminess one likes to see in a weizen), small, tan, and quickly disappears to barely a collar that leaves no lacing.

Picture is my own.

Flavor 11/20

This beer has elements of weizen and doppelbock, but pretty much none of those elements are exampled in the flavor.  First sips yield dark toasted malt and a hit of banana, yeasty goodness.  Hopes and dreams are then dashed as the backbone resorts back to the tea (not bad), the bean and bacon soup (bad), and an overwhelming amount of smoke.  Not just campfire smoke like a rauchbier, but a flavored artificial smoke that borders on mesquite, but lands closer to chaw (again, the tea).  When one slurps like wine, some of the dark fruits and the sweet brown tea flavors can become more apparent, but they are fighting a losing battle.  The finish does not change much from the backbone and the aftertaste is similar, although a bit more sour.  Where is the weizen?  The bock seems to be only present in name and roast.

Mouthfeel 4/5

Oddly enough, with all that is stylistically incorrect with other areas of this beer, the mouthfeel does score a bit  better.  It has a medium body, with tiny yet lasting carbonation, and a med-low level of creaminess.  The only concern lies with a slickness that is left in the mouth.

Oveall Impression 5/10

This beer is grossly mislabeled.  The flavor and aroma (some of the best parts) of the weizen are completely absent, but still show through in body.  Only the roast and color of the doppelbock are present, but also at the expense of the flavor.  The tea, nay, smoked tea, completely dominates this beer with both the flavors and aromas of the tea and the sweet smoke.  Other technical merits abound, as one would expect from this brewer, but the flavor while grand in idea, leaves much to be desired in the results.

Total 29/50

Sorry, Left Hand.  I like you guys.  I really do, but I leave a bit disappointed on this one.  You promised me two of my favorite and most familiar styles and then left me waiting for them to show themselves.  The idea of tea (or other various crazy ingredients) is an idea I will always respect.  Else how will craft beer discover new styles, flavors, or varieties of those existing?  However, there are certain things one expects when drinking a weizen, or a doppelbock, or any other beer.  Those expectations should, and sometimes do, border on the stylistic requirements of the brew.  This beer gave me bean and bacon soup when I wanted a big, dark, toasty, banana-laden, creamy, hazy, sweet treat.  Kudos to Left Hand for not being satisfied with the status quo and trying new ingredients in their beers/styles.  Keep them coming!  Please!  Just remember the styles off of which you are building (if utilizing existing styles at all), and to feature their best assets.

You want the summary?  Pass on this one and check out their other awesome brews.  However, if you're curious, want to taste something unusual, and have $8 to burn, go right ahead.

Cool label art as always.

Left Hand - Fade to Black Vol. 1

This is another bottle traded to me by good friend Keith.  While there is no shortage of Left Hand in my area, this particular bottle is not carried locally.  I have been holding off on reviewing this one because I respect Left Hand's stouts and know that I am going to want an adequate amount of time to sit and savor.  That said, if it flops, I will not be afraid to call it as it is.  Before we begin, this bottle not only gets extra points for its awesome label art, but also because it includes a Metallica reference.  Let's pour!

Picture is my own.  Bottle art image used without permission for educational uses only.

Aroma 9/12

A dominant smell of smoke.  The beer does not indicate a style on the label so this could be indicative of a rauchbier or malt so darkly roasted that it was burnt a bit.  Once the head settles a bit, the smoke differentiates itself from the also present darkly roasted malt.  There is even a hint of "milk" from a milk stout.  This mix of darkening and lightening ingredients is intriguing.

Appearance 3/3

This brew is called Fade to Black and does not disappoint.  Even when held immediately next to a lightbulb, there is not even a glimmer of light that escapes this glass.  No ruby shades.  No brown edges.  Just completely opaque black.  It pours thick from the bottle and gives a medium-large sized head the color of frothy mud - a barely lightened brown.  EBC is infinity.

Picture is my own.

Flavor 19/20

Despite the aroma not showing much, the flavor is complex, robust, and not overwhelming.  Initial flavors are of dark fruit(!), which was a completely surprise having been grossly absent from the aroma.  The dark fruit hangs around into the backbone which adds charred coffee notes, small hints of dark chocolate, and wisps of smoke.  Absolutely fantastic!  The finish pares down the list of flavors and focuses on the charred malt and dark fruits, leading to an aftertaste that while still featuring the smoke, features a "coffee and cream" that slips gently into the bitter that one expects from a good stout.

Mouthfeel 5/5

A stout body with medium-high levels of tiny carbonation bubbles which make it very appropriate for the style  and delicious.  A moderate yet hidden warmth and wondrously creamy texture combine to aid this beer's flavors in wrapping up your taste buds like a perfect smoking jacket.  Stylistically excellent and superbly complimentary.

Overall Impression 10/10

A fantastic beer!  An excellent representation of the stout style while adding complex yet undistracting flavors.  Technically solid.  There is so much that is excellent about this beer, it would simply be a redundancy of the entire review to list them all.

Total 46/50 (Outstanding)

In case you could not tell, I am a bit enthusiastic about this beer.  I had high hopes for the Left Hand stout and they not only met them, but destroyed them!  You will love the technical wonders of this beer for the same reason you respect a Ferrari.  A Ferrari can go practically 200 mph (and over in some cases), but it also can turn like a jackrabbit.  The same applies here: power and nuance.  There are some bold flavors here, but each one is presented with nuance and keeps this beer from being a one-trick pony.  Besides having amazing flavors (yes, plural), the mouthfeel can easily be classified as a "man's beer."  It is a heavier body, smooth creamy goodness, and a great warmth.  I don't think you should be able to drink this under the age of 25 and if you have one in your hand there should be some sort of mandatory swagger.

Buy this.  Buy it now.  Buy a lot.

Brownie point inducing bottle art.  I own no rights to this art.

Left Hand Brewing Co. - Wake Up Dead Imperial Stout

Very excited to sample this brew!  A friend of mine had recommended Left Hand's "Fade to Black," and since I was not able to find it, I figured that this would be a close second.  I have had it in my fridge for a few weeks now and it has been taunting me while waiting for its own entry.  Here it goes.

Picture is my own.  Bottle art image used without permission for educational uses only.

Aroma 6/12

The first aroma after pouring a nice 3-4oz. sample was the hops.  In fact, it was almost dominated by the hops, oddly enough.  It was a sweet smell, not unlike fresh alfalfa in the field or the sweetness that corn can attain.  Now I realize that those are grains and usually attributed to the malt, but I am allowing myself some leeway on this one.  In an Imperial Stout one would expect to the aroma dominated by the dark, roasted malt.  However, the smell does not come until much later - once the head had reduced by 1-2 cm.  Only after I had finished taking the photos was I able to smell the toasty scent of the malt really come through (and even then, only lightly).

Appearance 2/3

To steal a Sam Elliot line, an Imperial Stout should be "darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night."  This is not.  It is also where the diversion from the imperial stout style becomes grossly apparent.  This does have a great opaque color, but there are hints of dark copper toward the edges and especially if held to light.  Red?!  In an imperial stout!??!  Unheard of!!  Looking into this glass should be like staring into a cave; no hints of light and seemingly bottomless.  It fails in this respect and, unfortunately, is not the last time it will be accused of not being dark enough.

     Its head was a dark cream color (not the dark brown I had hoped for) and stayed present til about half way down my pint.  Very little lace, but it did cover the surface of the beer.  The head was thin and bubbly, not creamy.  On a side note, I would love to give this beer some extra credit points for its bottle art!  Really nice imagery.  I should have taken the red graphics on the outside of the bottle as a foreshadowing of things to come.  Note to self: next time look for imperial stouts that only have labels in monochrome.

Picture is my own.

Flavor 10/20

Please, let me first clarify by saying that this rating is not to indicate that this beer does not have any flavor!  It has a rich, dark flavor that I would rather drink that many more popular stouts.  That said, this is FAR from an imperial stout and is being deducted points for its vast differentiation of the style.  In opposition to the aroma, the malt made its appearance known first in the flavor.  Again, this brew is just not dark enough!  First impression?  Sweet like brown sugar or dark toffee or über-dark vanilla.  I even had to ask my wife to take a sample.  Was I missing the forest for the trees?  Was I paying too close attention to the minutia that I was missing the big picture?  No.  My wife is by no means a beer drinker and her (paraphrased) first words were, "Its really dark, but its sweet."  Trust me, if this beer was dark and bitter, her face would have let me know poste haste. In addition to the sweet "sugary" taste, there was also that of some darker fruits like figs or dates or dark cherries.  Something like that.  There were not fruit esters in the aroma, but a few were present (though complimentary) in the flavor.

     But where is the bitter?  Where is the toastyness?  Where is the coffee?  The hops are present (and earthy when they arrive), but this is an imperial stout and its bitterness should make me want to sit down with a slight grimace.  I expect to be knocked back by a bold(er) flavor and a high alcohol content.  This beer hints at those, yet gives me neither.  The hops are most present while exhaling during the "aftertaste."  This would be a ridiculously good brown ale and that thought keeps returning as I descend down the bottle.

Mouthfeel 3/5

Extremely light creamy texture - medium body overall.  I almost feel guilty calling it creamy at all.  It is a little too bubbly for stout.  There is a hint of warmth initially, but it gives way almost immediately.  The finish is cloying (along with the rest of the of the beer) and very sweet.  Insert disappointed sigh.

Overall Impression 8/10

This is by no means a bad beer.  In fact, I rather enjoyed the whole bottle, but it is far from what the style demands.  It is too sweet!  I want an imperial stout to dry my mouth and impress me with its big, bold, bitter, bad-boy flavor.  I want it to make me question if I should have ordered it when I look at its opacity/viscosity. I want it to suplex my tongue and put it in a choke hold until I tap for mercy.  I should probably feel the strange need to listen to Rolling Stones' "Paint it Black," while drinking it.

Look!  See!  Imperial Stout is supposed to be the blackest of black beers!!!

 Total: 29/50 Good

                                           

This score (the top "good" score given before being rated "very good") states that this beer "misses the mark on style and/pr minor flaws."  While I was worried about not seeing the forest for the trees, I found that my impressions were correct (a satisfying moment for a budding beer taster).  This beer, with modifications to the type of sweetness (nuts instead of fruit), would be a TREMENDOUS brown ale, given the characteristics in its flavor, mouthfeel, and appearance.  As it stands currently, it is an imperial stout with a lot of flavor, just not the right ones, nor were they strong enough.

     I would really like to see some darker malts involved and lots of them.  Of course, once you add all that malt, you are going to need a lot of good hops not only to balance the malt, but to give this beer the bitter kick that is, not only essential to its history, but true to its style.