Pints for Pachyderms

Last Friday I was invited by some friends to attend a fundraiser at a local zoo called "Pints for Pachyderms."  Lured by the thought of mutually inebriating elephants and myself, I went and had one heckuva time.

First off, the midwest is currently in the grip of a heatwave and Friday was no different.  I don't know the exact temperature, but it was enough to give me a pronounced 'V' down the front of my shirt.  Gross, I know, but also motivating to down some cold ones.  I'll give some general narration, but then try to give as many quick beer synopses as I can.  Also, in this article if I list a beer as "did not try," it's not because I didn't want to or was playing the part of the beer snob.  They were only giving out one sample at a time though often times you could ask for two.  If it's listed as "did not try," it is because I didn't feel like waiting in line any more.

First Tent:

Wild Blue: 8% ABV.  Tastes like blueberry juice, sugar, vanilla.  Not beer.

Shocktop Raspberry Wheat:  Complimentary, non-overwhelming raspberry.  I could get behind this as a very refreshing (yet sweet) summer beer.

They also had Margaritaville drinks, but I did not have any.

This first tent also had complimentary peanuts in shell, pretzles, and potato chips.  At first I thought the peanuts were just because of the event's name, but they're also pretty standard bar chow and something to change up on the palate from one beer to the next.  Turns out they had them at every table.  Walking to the next tent we were able to walk by some primate habitats.

Primates outside the primate exhibit.

Line for second tasting.

The second tasting area was for Mexican beers.  Given the hot temps it was no surprise that the lines for this tent were a little longer as people waiting for their cool, lighter-bodied beers.  These servers were probably some the nicer ones as well.  The guy promised me, not knowing that I am into craft beer, that the beers get stronger and more "craft-like" as we go.  The girl asked me what I wanted to drink.  I looked at the beers.  She said, "Do you want this one because it's cold and in my hand?"  Me: "You're good, you."

Second Tent: Mexican Beer

Modelo: Light pilsner in a can.  About what you'd expect.

Negro Modelo:  Pretty universal.  Do I need to touch on this one?

Victoria:  Light pilsner with the slight skunk of Mexican beer.

Pacifico:  All of the above (but no can).

You can't take some people anywhere.

 The next station was rather several things all under a larger tent: Potosi table, radio DJ, pints for sale, food, Summit table, and lots of thirsty fest-goers.

Food set up was nice.  Even the plastic wear made it seem more formal!

Thank goodness these were on sale.  Those samples weren't going to hold me.

 I actually visited the Summit table first and was thirsty enough to dive into their EPA.  Not that their EPA is bad, far from it, but IPA, EPA, BPA, etc, are not usually my first choice.

(Out of order) Fourth Tent: Summit
EPA: 4/5 Stars.  Not real bitter.  Very refreshing.  I probably drank this too fast.
Red Ale:  Very hoppy for a red.  Not very malty.
Hefe:  Did not try.

The Summit selections

Hard-workin' men from Summit.

 In this tent, and strategically placed throughout the zoo, were zoo employees with some of the zoo's animals. How cool!  This bird was in the main tent.

Third Tent: Potosi
Steamboat Shandy: Lots of citrus (duh), peach, and even apple.  They ran out of this later.
Snake Hollow IPA: citrus hops with a light bitter finish.  Perfect for the day.  I bought a pint of this later.
Good old Potosi: Did not try
Pure Malt Cave Ale: Did not try

This snake was en route to the fifth tent.

 The fifth station was a true taste of the local scene.  Great River Brewery is a brewery that recently moved across Iowa to our area.  Mississippi River Distillery started in LeClaire, IA (current home of TV show "American Pickers").  Irish Dog solely makes Bloody Mary Mix that used to be concocted right in their kitchen (they inform me they have since moved out of the kitchen).

Fifth Tent: LOCAL BREWS!
Mississippi River Distillery: This gin was phenomenal.  It tasted more peppermint, than true juniper, but allowed for a more mellow experience.  Also elements of simple syrup with very little burn on the way down.  There was a flavor I could not place, but eventually I determined it was "that minty spice in Thai food."  A friend in the group said, "That's right!  Lemongrass!  She DID say they used lemongrass."  Tastebuds: 1, Mystery Flavor: 0  I will be buying this when looking for gin.
Irish Dog Bloddy Mary:  Wow!  This is spicy meat-a-ball-a!  Not painful, but definitely as spicy as you can make it with out that.  Damn tasty.  Heat didn't linger too bad either.  It probably just seemed longer because of the weather.  All it lacked was my customary dill pickle spear and it would have been perfect.  I will be buying this as well.
Great River Brewery - Redband Stout:  This infuses the exact taste of a coffee drink.  Very authentic tasting.  Lots of espresso in what I bet is a milk stout.  Chocolate as well.  Tasty.

There was lots I did not get to try at this table.

Paul, brewmaster of Great River, pouring with the best of them.

The husband and wife team that is Irish Dog.

Giraffe shower scene on the way to the next tent.

I christened these animals, "skunk monkeys," and the name seemed to stick with those around us.

After seeing some animals, we arrived at the sixth table stationed by Goose Island.  Before I go into that, this whole day is a really cool idea.  How many times are there brew festivals where you get to see giraffes and lions?  Not many, I bet.  It really combines two great activities (or dates, if one were so inclined) and makes both enjoyable.  On to the next table.

Sixth Tent:  Goose Island
The only bummer about this table is that I only got one tasting!  They had their good stuff out and I really would have liked to try another one.  Good thing the one I was able to try was....
Pere Jacques (2009):  Smells remind of apple cider.  Flavor is roasted malt, a little warmth, cider, and dates.  Light citrus bitter at the end.  This is the most complex beer I had all day.  I couldn't believe they were pouring a 2009!

Goose Island folks.

Me with an unamused "skunk monkey."

Right by the lions' area was the Woodchuck Cider table.  They had some chummy folks working there and were pouring some of their special reserve.  Now, some of you may not think much of the ciders or that they would even have a Special Reserve, but my good friend (and very competant beer drinker) Keith has been telling me about this for probably a month, so I had to try it.

Seventh Tent: Woodchuck
Special Reserve:  Similar to their 'Fall' variety (which is AMAZBALLS), but more crisp and without their abundance of fall spices.  It also had a light, light bitter toward the end.  Very impressive cider.
Summer:  It is supposed to be based in blueberries, but the first flavor I got was pear!  The blueberries did come though.  They tasted like fresh blueberries!  They were not tart, nor syrupy.

Our tasting group!

 We were starting to lose daylight so the rest of the tour increased its pace a bit.  Next was Dundee tent.  I'm not really familiar with Dundee so I was excited to taste their offerings.

Eighth Tent: Dundee
IPA: Aroma was piney and caramel malt.  Flavor was also caramel, but included cream and resin.  Light clean finish.
Kolsch:  Similar to a cream ale I had recently that also had a sweetness that reminds one of marshmallows.  This was only up front in this beer and makes me want to keep trying this style and discover its recent hype.
Bock:  Aroma that was smokey like Thanksgiving day roast.  My friend Jim found it "like bourbon... oaky," and he is right on the money.  Taste was a light caramel/molasses with a little bit of honey up front.  Very nice!

AHH!!  Twilight is falling upon us!  Quick get to the other tents.

Ninth Tent: Shiner
102: Aroma of lemon and crystal malt.  Flavor is the same.
Old Ale:  More like a lager than an ale.  Light pilsner without the hops.

The tenth tent was all the AB/InBev products.  However, since we are all familiar with them I won't review them here (but perhaps in an upcoming post).  Kudos to big beer for showing up at a small event (especially since their distributor is about 4 miles away).  They brought some of the good stuff too!  Bass, Stella Artois, Leffe, and Bodingtons

Is there anything more majestic than llamas in the moonlight?

That about sums it up kids.  5 hours, 6 friends, 10 tents, 21 beers, one spirit, and one bloody mary.  Not bad for a days work.  The only thing to make this better is if I win those Poison/Motley Crue tickets I signed up to win.  I'll keep you posted.

Shiner - Bohemian Black Lager

You have got to respect the folks at Shiner.  They keep trying different styles and selling them for our enjoyment.  While I have not had any brews from them that are a "must-buy" or a knock-out punch to my tastebuds as of yet, I will keep buying Shiner because I like what they are doing, I want them to continue, and one of these days they are going to knock it out of the park.  This review is for their Bohemian Black Lager.  The black/gun-metal gray monochrome packaging is sweet looking and encouraging.  Let's pour!

Picture is my own.  Bottle art image used without permission for educational uses only.

Aroma 5/12

This score is a little worrisome as the aroma usually foretells the fate of the beer.  Not that the smells are not interesting, they simply are not strong enough.  Right off the bat, there is a sweet roasted smell that is akin almost to roasted marshmallows.  An unusually sweet smell for a schwarzbier.  There is also a faint smell of chocolate, but any hop aroma is absent.

Appearance 3/3

Appearance is appropriate to style.  In fact, the visual is quite perfect, casting deep ruby hues behind a black translucent shade.  The beer pours like a lager, despite its dark roots, and yields a moderate-sized, loose, khaki head.  The head has excellent retention, keeping a collar to the bottom of the pint, but lacks any lacing.

Picture is my own.

Flavor 12/20

In a similar story to the aroma, there are certainly noticeable flavors, but they are meek and light.  Initial tastes yield a watery, malty taste and little of the roasted aroma.  The sweet malt then blends perfectly with a coffee flavor and remains that way through the finish.  A nice balance, even if the flavors are somewhat muted.  The after taste is remarkably clean for a black beer, but eventually reveals a spicy hop bitter and a bit of coffee.  The hop is noticeable by itself during an exhale.

Mouthfeel 3/5

This offering seems a bit light-bodied for the style.  The carbonation level is appropriate for the style, but it feels prickly and is a bit distracting.  Extremely drinkable!  It would be a very nice compliment to a sweet, charred, rack of ribs.

Overall Impression 7/10

While this beer will not win any prizes for an intense flavor, I must give it accordingly high marks for its stylistic accuracy, with the exception of a near-absence of hops.  Its light flavors are noticeable, yet light, and allow this lager to remain flavorful and extremely quaffable.

Total 30/50 (Very Good)

We cannot expect the same strong, dark, roasty flavors of a porter to some out of a black lager.  This is a different style and must be judged accordingly.  Again, I fear I may have let my bias weigh a bit heavier in this review than I should because the stylistic accuracy is very high, but my personal preference for intense flavor was not met.  However, I do feel the flavors could have been stronger, the body a bit more, and the hops present in anything more than a suggestion.  This rating says that this brew is "generally within style parameters" but could be touched up a little.  I could not agree more.  However, if you are wanting to get into black beers, stouts, imperials, and the like, I could not think of a better starting point.

Shiner - Smokehaus

So I have been reading a bit more about "smoke beers."  Their descriptions often correlate with unicorns: rare, magical, and if you should see one, you should drink its innards immediately.  OK, so maybe the comparison falls off a little toward the end.  In any case (not a beer pun), I happened to find one at my local Wine & Liquor store.  It was the last lonely soldier, long separated from his group, but I rescued him and gave him a home.  All kidding aside, I have never had a smoke beer before and was curious about the taste.  Would it be a dry, bitter experience like campfire smoke?  Would it be the sweet smell of BBQ?  Would it be like adding liquid smoke to a macrobrew?  It is indeed a curiosity and I was ready to experience it for myself.

Picture is my own.  Bottle art image used without permission for educational uses only

Aroma 6/12

Now I will be the first to admit, this rating may be somewhat to blame on a partially stuffy nose.  With that in the open, the first thing I noticed about this beer's aroma was the lack of it.  It took a lot of short, short sniffs but all I received for my efforts was a lingering of smoke and I was a bit disappointed.  I have used some liquid smoke in my cooking (chili and the like) and when you open that bottle, it is quite overwhelming.  While I was not expecting that smell (or to be drinking liquid smoke), I suppose I was expecting something a bit stronger than what I did.  The malt aroma is not entirely overpowered by the smoke and is detected as a light, bready smell.

Appearance 2/3

The Shiner pours a nice golden color and crystal clear.  The head was white, small and disappeared almost immediately.  I assume the carbonation cannot maintain that form due to something in the flavoring.  I accept any and all comments from any chemistry nerds on this one.  Where is Alton Brown when you need him?  The head texture was thin when it was present.  While being deducted a point for its head, the rest is spot on for the helles style, which this beer claims to be.  It ranks roughly a 22 EBC.

Picture is my own.

Flavor 16/20

Ah, the moment arrives!  Finally, so many questions will be answered.  The first sensation is sweet.  The pale malt shines through, but only for an moment.  Very soon after, the sweet smokey flavor hits the side of your tongue.  It is far from overwhelming and it is a very pleasant sensation.  Even, those not familiar with breaking down the flavors in a beer enjoy it, offering a smile and a "Wow!"  It is a neat thing to do to a beer!  The beer again finishes sweet, but the dialogue ends with the mesquite bitters in the back of your mouth.  True to style, this is a malty beer.  As with the aroma, I expected more smokiness, but what I received was not unpleasant by any means.

Mouthfeel 5/5

I'll reiterate, while adding a new flavor, this beer remains remarkably true to its style.  It is a light bodied, medium-high carbonation, beer with a sweet finish and not warmth or creaminess.  Nice.

Overall Impression 7/10

I went back and forth with this beer.  The majority of me wants this to be more of an "experience" in the extreme.  I want an extreme smokey flavor that separates this beer from any others.  I want it to be something I can tell friends about with excitement!  On the other hand, as this beer stands it is a great session beer.  I could easily take care of a sixer on a sunny summer day.  In fact, those that want a beer with high drinkability and do not wish to turn to macrobrews or a fruity taste will find this a very acceptable alternative to those traditional summer offerings.

     This bottle labels itself as "Shiner Smokehaus, Mesquite Smoked Beer, Helles Style.  The perfect sommer bier."  While I'm not sure its perfect, it certainly does not let down on its commitment to the helles style or the mesquite flavor.  I will agree with the bottom of the bottle whole-heartedly, "Its smokin' good."  You owe it to yourself to give this one a pour.